Whether your 6-year-old is struggling to tie their shoes, your 10-year-old is trying to shoot a free throw or your teenager is learning to drive, frustration is bound to pop up. When your child gets frustrated, you have an opportunity to help them learn frustration tolerance. That’s the ability to cope with disappointment, obstacles, setbacks and strong emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

As a parent, it’s crucial for you to have age-appropriate expectations for tolerating frustration. Children’s abilities develop over time, and younger children are likely to struggle more with frustration than older children. 

Exposure to frustration can help

“Repeated, safe exposure to frustration triggers is the best way to build tolerance to frustration,” Alyssa Bowman, a mental health counselor with Banner Health, said.

You want to expose children to frustration gradually. You can create age-appropriate challenges that cause frustration, but that your child can overcome with effort and perseverance. That way, they can build resilience and tolerance over time.

Strategies to try

Here are some techniques you can use to help your child build frustration tolerance:

Teach problem-solving skills that children can use when they’re facing frustrating situations. When problems can’t be solved right away, kids can learn patience and delayed gratification. You can help them learn strategies such as setting goals, breaking tasks into smaller steps and providing positive reinforcement for effort. 

Being honest with your feelings and showing how you use coping strategies in the moment helps a child understand frustration tolerance.

Help them learn to recognize and label their emotions: You can teach them that frustration is a normal emotion and give examples of situations that might lead to feeling that way. Encourage your child to talk about their emotions and give them a safe space to express their feelings without judgment.

Encourage a growth mindset: Children can learn that setbacks and failures are opportunities for growth and learning, and that challenges can be stepping stones rather than insurmountable obstacles. 

Celebrate effort: Acknowledge your child’s progress and resilience in managing frustration. Be specific and genuine in praising your child’s perseverance, problem-solving skills and ability to bounce back from setbacks. 

Create a supportive environment: Children need a nurturing environment in order to build frustration tolerance. You can help by providing open communication, reassurance and opportunities for shared experiences and learning. 

Children watch how you handle frustration and learn emotional regulation by observing your behavior. Being honest with your feelings and showing how you use coping strategies in the moment helps a child understand frustration tolerance. “If you are regulated when stressful events happen, that teaches your child regulation strategies,” Bowman said. “And when you are frustrated, that’s a teachable moment for a child.”

Excerpted from How to “Help Your Child Learn Healthy Ways to Tolerate Frustration” from Banner Health. Read the full article online to learn more strategies as well as what to expect at different ages.

Source: Banner Health | Help Your Child Learn Healthy Ways to Tolerate Frustration, https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/advise-me/how-to-help-your-child-learn-healthy-ways-to-tolerate-frustration | © 2026 By Banner Health

Learn why developing the ability to withstand difficult emotions without reacting impulsively can transform your parenting journey. Listen to our podcast on distress tolerance for parents in which we discuss practical strategies to build this crucial skill.